I've been impatient since the day I was born. Literally. Apparently when I was born, labor was quite....speedy. I couldn't get out fast enough! I feel like I've spent most of my life that way. I have patience for nothing. Along with the rest of my generation I've grown up in the age of instant gratification. Almost anything and everything is accessible at the click of a button; except a love life. Ha! That would be interesting; being able to shop for Mr. Right? Weird. All growing up, the easy answer for parents and adults when heartbreak and loneliness would come around was, "You're so young; you've got plenty of time". Then, as you get a little older (like high school) they all say "Don't worry, you'll go to college and meet someone". Well here I am in college watching girl after girl that I know meet that someone, get engaged to that someone, get married to that someone. Stealing my dream life and making me wonder what's wrong with me that I'm still single. Again, here I am in college, still single, still wondering where on earth my Mr. Right is. I've had glimpses and tastes of maybe possibly knowing what that feeling is like, but usually (as far as I've experienced: *always*) That knight in shining armor turns out to be a jerk in tin foil. Ew. I sit and talk with my girlfriends about boys, watching "Say Yes to the Dress" yet thinking all the while the only thing missing is actually finding someone. I'm learning to realize the problem with that statement "finding someone". Like it's some creepy treasure hunt where If I look long enough and hard enough somehow Flynn Rider from Tangled will be waiting on the other side of the rainbow; tall, dark, and handsome, just waiting to sweep me off my feet and make me a princess. Ooops. My logic is a bit faulty. I'm sure you can spot the problem with that belief. "Flynn Rider"? He's a animated Disney Character. There is no such thing as a Prince Charming waiting to ride off into the sunset with me. But, unlike the firm belief of Taylor Swift, that doesn't mean I won't be ok. It doesn't mean that I'm some weak and broken woman that always wants what she can't have, screaming to the tune of "You Belong With Me" in the shower. This doesn't mean that just because Prince Charming is a fairy tale I'll be single forever. It means realizing that the man out there for me isn't gonna be perfect so I don't have to be perfect either. That should be a relief! *Whew* Thank goodness I don't have to pretend anymore that I roll out of bed with straightened hair, a made up face, Coach purse in arm. This should be a relief because the man that will love me will love me best in jeans, a t-shirt and a ponytail. Sooooo cliche yea yea yea I know. But it's true. I've spent a long time spinning in confusing circles back and forth between ignoring the cliche and dating jerks and thinking that life really *is* a Disney movie and I just have to sing "Someday My Prince Will Come" and he'll magically appear. I wish life was that simple. Really though, if life *was* that simple, we would never learn anything. We would never appreciate Love in it's purest and simplest form because we would have no idea what kind of a struggle it takes to get there. I've spent my life like Rapunzel, locked up in my tower in the belief the only thing out there is "ruffians, thugs and men with pointy teeth!" waiting for a chance to run, dance, and be free while battling between life as an idealist and life as a cynic. The funny thing about Rapunzel though, is that when she left her tower she found beauty in the world. She found love. She wasn't looking for it; she didn't spend her life pining away waiting for Prince Charming. But, when she finally made the choice to let go of *wondering* about life and being impatient and she actually chose to live she stumbled upon the Love she didn't even know she needed. Long story short, I'm trying to be less impatient. I'm trying to remember that as much as I feel like my life is a Taylor Swift song, that's because (just like the singer herself) I *make* my life like that. I sit singing, wishing, and dreaming about something that won't happen just because I want it to. It will happen in it's own time and I've just got to live and love and somehow my own kind of Prince will find his way to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment