10 Little Fingers and 10 Tiny Toes

When I was in 8th grade, my family adopted my little brother Shaun. I will never forget the day they brought him home. They got out of the car and my mom handed this little baby to me and he looked up at me, right in the eye, and smiled. I fell in love. My little brother has changed my life in so many ways. He's made me believe what my mom always told me; little kids are tough to handle! He's taught me that anything can be fun, you just have to make it that way. He's taught me so many things, but most importantly he's taught me something that seems so simple, but in truth it's so difficult to do. To Love. Any of you who have a small child, or sibling you know what I'm talking about. The purity of heart in a child is simply astounding. Their honesty is mind blowing, they act how they feel and they love so freely it's almost confusing. Shaun always puts numbers to the amount of his love. He will say "I love you 1000" or 100 or whatever. On some days, (if you're being really cool and worthy of some extra love) you'll get a huge number like 92573401 kajibillion. He never stops to remember the times I've let him down when he tells me he loves me. He never reminds me of all the things I should be doing for him that I don't when he runs up and gives me hugs. He never hesitates to tell me that he loves me 100 or a million, because to him it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm his sister and he loves me. I'm pretty sure I've never been more touched than when he had alphabet week at school and he brought in a picture of us and talked about the letter "L" for his best friend and big sister Lindsay. Never mind the fact I was 5 hours away at college, never mind the fact that I don't call enough or visit as much as I should. He only remembers the 5 minute chats or the piece of gum I give him (usually just to keep him quiet for a few minutes). He's always willing to play a game or give a hug. The love of a child reminds me so much of the unfailing love of my savior. I *know* that God uses Shaun to remind me of him and his love for me. I remember recently when my boyfriend and I broke up, I was crying one day when I was visiting home and Shaun just came and sat in my lap and said "It's ok Z, you still my best friend". I didn't ask him to do that, but he did because he knew I needed to be reminded that I'm loved. Over and over Shaun has touched my life and my heart. I was blessed the day he was born and God decided that his mother who couldn't care for him would love him enough to give him away and that my family would be hugely blessed to have him become one of our own. The little things he does just make me giggle, like how he calls Publix "Pugwix" or his little glasses, or when he dances around or sings to his kids bop cd. Some days I wish he would never grow up. But the truth is, it doesn't matter how old he gets I can never ever replace the spot in my heart that was walked on by ten tiny toes and imprinted by 10 little fingers of the little brother that changed my life.